Yesterday morning I was so excited, yet anxious. I had gotten the kids ready and off to school and was in the middle of moving things around to get our upstairs carpet replaced when the phone rang. The installers were letting me know that their team was not going to be able to come in. Could I please put it off until Thursday?
Sigh. Let down, yet seemingly a blessing. There were still a few things to get in order, so a couple of days shouldn't be that big of an issue. Of course, it meant moving some things back into the kids' rooms for the time being, but it gave me more time to take care of the gazillion little things lying around.
Well, yes, I was able to get more things boxed away, but then I ran into a little snag. I was in the parking lot with my girls, leaving an American Heritage Girls meeting when I stepped into a pot hole. I heard a POP and my ankle was on fire. I knew there was no question that I had just sprained it.
My mind was flooded with questions. How in the world was I going to drive them home? How was I going to get the rest of the way to my car? How was I going to move everything out of the way for the carpet installers? Breathe. Forget that, how was I going to stay completely calm in front of my daughters when I couldn't think straight for the throbbing on my right side?
As always, God provided. I certainly cried out to him enough times, quietly. Oh, and anyone who knows me realizes that the quieter I am when I get hurt equates to how much it does hurt. Poor Nyssa said she wished she were old enough to drive. So did I. But I did ask God to help us get home. I had to drive with my left foot as there was nothing doing with my right.
Thankfully, we only live about 2 miles from where the meeting took place. It was 8 o'clock at night, so the roads were quiet with absolutely no traffic whatsoever behind me the entire way and only a few cars on the other side of the street that passed me. The whole trip home, I was thanking God for the perfect driving conditions, for the lack of drivers on the road, for the lights, for the spacing between cars that allowed me to turn. I told the girls that we are to give thanks in every situation, because that is God's will for our lives, even if it doesn't seem to have anything worth thanking Him for. But if we concentrate and think about the things He is providing right then and there, then we are taking our eyes off of the pain of the moment.
We finally got home, after Nyssa laughingly told me that my breathing sometimes sounded like Darth Vader. I told her it sounded like that just before she was born, too! My poor husband had to help me in the house and then we waited for my mom to come take me to the ER while Richard put the kids to bed.
The x-rays confirmed my suspicions. It was only a sprain and not a break, but I'm not supposed to put any weight on it for a few days. The doctor handed me a narcotic to dull the pain and sent me home with crutches and an air cast. Sigh. No weight.
How in the world am I going to get those boxes and drawers out of the kids' rooms, the mattresses off the bed, and the rest of the odds and ends out of the way? This was the worst timing ever! If only the installation crew had come when they were supposed to, we wouldn't be having this trouble right now! All sorts of negative thoughts swam around in my brain fraught with worry about the current circumstances. Then, something happened.
God reminded me He is in control. He brought my mind back to what I had been telling the girls on the trip home. He gently nudged me and let me know that He did, indeed know what was going on in my life, knew already that it would happen, and that He had a plan. What it was didn't matter. What did matter was that I trust Him and rest in the knowledge that He was going to take care of me. All of a sudden, when I looked to him and not to the situation, I was at peace and perfectly fine with what would be.
How did it turn out? Well, I started writing again, for one thing. I've been trying to get back in the groove for quite some time but could never quite get the time to sit down and do it. Well, sitting's not going to be a problem for a bit. As for the whole moving issue and the carpet? Ask me again tomorrow night, because I haven't completely crossed that bridge yet. But the wonderful thing is that I don't have to cross it alone and that the bridge I am walking on is a solid rock. God specializes in making a way when there seems to be none. He is letting me lean on Him so I don't have to bear all the weight on my own. It's His burden now, and His burden is light. Whew, thank You, God!
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
A Dream Fulfilled
So it has been quite a while since I have written, and for those of you who have been waiting around for a new post, I greatly apologized and am humbled that you still check my blog. I was gone so long that it took me a week to figure out how to get back in. Hopefully I will make it up to you. As for my new readers, thank you for stopping by and giving me a chance. I hope you are not disappointed!
When I was young, I always knew I wanted 5 children of my own to raise. I also kept my mind wide open to adopting more, should the occasion arise, and I still do. While we had more complications and unexpected gifts with our first three, the desire lingered. When we had Gabriela, though it grew even busier and crazier around the home, I still hungered for one more. A part of me had given up because, as our Autistic children continued through elementary school, the challenges got even more difficult.
Then, it happened. I grew content (almost) with just the four, understanding that I was at my limit of juggling my time with the children and the work of the home. I knew that to have another was staring a mountain in the face I felt I didn't have the strength to climb it at that time, even though the crazy notion of having one more nagged at me. Of course, it's when you decide to camp out in the comfort of the meadow in the valley that those mountains just seem to appear out of nowhere!
A miracle came to us on April 14 of last year; to be precise it appeared on 4/24/14 at 1:24pm. Our last blessing was born, and what a blessing he is! Overwhelmed by all of my children, I was still overjoyed that the final portion of the hole in my heart was filled to the brim. I never thought I would have a child smaller than my first, but Alexander came as a tiny spitfire, determined and joyful. Still near the bottom of his weight and height class, he brings out the best in all the others.
I have to laugh because he literally seems to be all the others rolled into one. Praise God I did have the others before him, because they helped prepare the way. Alexander has the ability to figure things out like Nyssa. At 15 months old, hardly walking, he had already figured out how to turn on the DVD player and TV. All he needed was to have someone take the disc out of the case for him. He can put things back together like Nathaniel. He climbs like Benjamin, and is as socially engaging as Gabriela. He brings them all together.
His name means "Defender and Protector of Mankind." His middle name, Joseph, means "God has added unto us a son." How truly we can already see both of these attributes flowing through him. He is unwittingly bringing out the best in all of them, just by his sheer existence.
Before he was born, Nathaniel used to be afraid of him, that he would hurt Alexander, but he is so gentle and caring for his little brother. In fact, he's the best babysitter of the bunch. That is what Alexander brings out of his brother. Though a typical toddler who gets into everything, Alexander is not going to get anywhere near anything remotely dangerous to him when Nathaniel is around.
To the girls, he's still a play toy. He is carried and peek-a-booed at, handed toys and stuffed animals, and adored. Somehow he always manages to work his way back to me when he needs a diaper change, but goes right back to his entertainment team when he's cleaned.
He's not sure where he lies with his roommate. Today he may be the best friend in the world while yesterday he was told to stay out of the way. Truth is, he adores Benjamin and enjoys his evening chats with his big brother, even if Benjamin has no idea what he is saying.
Two and a half years ago, we had, along with everyone we knew, reached the conclusion that four children were plenty and that our hands were full enough with them. Then somehow, this tiny miracle came along and showed us what we still needed...and that is the crux of the matter. We needed him, all of us. He was the final arrow in our quiver. He was number seven, the number of completion. He was all of us rolled into one, showing us that it is possible to all work together as a cohesive team, a family.
Just this past Sunday, he was dedicated at church. I hate admitting that we had been so busy the time flew by before we knew it! He's 17 months old now, but I believe the timing was perfect. Our pastor talked about him being a vital part of the family, that he was, in essence, an integral part, a key role in our family. He echoed, I'm not sure if he realized it or not, the meaning behind Alexander's name. He is already proving to be a protector, at his young age, and a defender of our family in a way that cannot be expressed.
It is often the dream that seems to die that is the most precious of all. We go through life with expectations, hopes, and dreams of what we would like it to be. Often these dreams are discarded or forgotten; they go by the wayside. But then, with some that are dear to our heart, something wonderful happens. When we least expect it, they come back in full force, like a rushing river flowing past, a flood that knocks away every obstacle in its path. That doesn't mean to say that it is all peachy and smells of roses. With the precious ones, we may face the most challenging days of all; but then the hard times are worth it, because we realize they were times that might not have been. We realize that because these dreams were so very dear to our hearts, even the troubles are endurable because we understand the passion and the deep satisfaction that goes along with seeing the impossible dreams fulfilled.
When I was young, I always knew I wanted 5 children of my own to raise. I also kept my mind wide open to adopting more, should the occasion arise, and I still do. While we had more complications and unexpected gifts with our first three, the desire lingered. When we had Gabriela, though it grew even busier and crazier around the home, I still hungered for one more. A part of me had given up because, as our Autistic children continued through elementary school, the challenges got even more difficult.
Then, it happened. I grew content (almost) with just the four, understanding that I was at my limit of juggling my time with the children and the work of the home. I knew that to have another was staring a mountain in the face I felt I didn't have the strength to climb it at that time, even though the crazy notion of having one more nagged at me. Of course, it's when you decide to camp out in the comfort of the meadow in the valley that those mountains just seem to appear out of nowhere!
A miracle came to us on April 14 of last year; to be precise it appeared on 4/24/14 at 1:24pm. Our last blessing was born, and what a blessing he is! Overwhelmed by all of my children, I was still overjoyed that the final portion of the hole in my heart was filled to the brim. I never thought I would have a child smaller than my first, but Alexander came as a tiny spitfire, determined and joyful. Still near the bottom of his weight and height class, he brings out the best in all the others.
I have to laugh because he literally seems to be all the others rolled into one. Praise God I did have the others before him, because they helped prepare the way. Alexander has the ability to figure things out like Nyssa. At 15 months old, hardly walking, he had already figured out how to turn on the DVD player and TV. All he needed was to have someone take the disc out of the case for him. He can put things back together like Nathaniel. He climbs like Benjamin, and is as socially engaging as Gabriela. He brings them all together.
His name means "Defender and Protector of Mankind." His middle name, Joseph, means "God has added unto us a son." How truly we can already see both of these attributes flowing through him. He is unwittingly bringing out the best in all of them, just by his sheer existence.
Before he was born, Nathaniel used to be afraid of him, that he would hurt Alexander, but he is so gentle and caring for his little brother. In fact, he's the best babysitter of the bunch. That is what Alexander brings out of his brother. Though a typical toddler who gets into everything, Alexander is not going to get anywhere near anything remotely dangerous to him when Nathaniel is around.
To the girls, he's still a play toy. He is carried and peek-a-booed at, handed toys and stuffed animals, and adored. Somehow he always manages to work his way back to me when he needs a diaper change, but goes right back to his entertainment team when he's cleaned.
He's not sure where he lies with his roommate. Today he may be the best friend in the world while yesterday he was told to stay out of the way. Truth is, he adores Benjamin and enjoys his evening chats with his big brother, even if Benjamin has no idea what he is saying.
Two and a half years ago, we had, along with everyone we knew, reached the conclusion that four children were plenty and that our hands were full enough with them. Then somehow, this tiny miracle came along and showed us what we still needed...and that is the crux of the matter. We needed him, all of us. He was the final arrow in our quiver. He was number seven, the number of completion. He was all of us rolled into one, showing us that it is possible to all work together as a cohesive team, a family.
Just this past Sunday, he was dedicated at church. I hate admitting that we had been so busy the time flew by before we knew it! He's 17 months old now, but I believe the timing was perfect. Our pastor talked about him being a vital part of the family, that he was, in essence, an integral part, a key role in our family. He echoed, I'm not sure if he realized it or not, the meaning behind Alexander's name. He is already proving to be a protector, at his young age, and a defender of our family in a way that cannot be expressed.
It is often the dream that seems to die that is the most precious of all. We go through life with expectations, hopes, and dreams of what we would like it to be. Often these dreams are discarded or forgotten; they go by the wayside. But then, with some that are dear to our heart, something wonderful happens. When we least expect it, they come back in full force, like a rushing river flowing past, a flood that knocks away every obstacle in its path. That doesn't mean to say that it is all peachy and smells of roses. With the precious ones, we may face the most challenging days of all; but then the hard times are worth it, because we realize they were times that might not have been. We realize that because these dreams were so very dear to our hearts, even the troubles are endurable because we understand the passion and the deep satisfaction that goes along with seeing the impossible dreams fulfilled.
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