A New Beginning

I am a very enthusiastic person who can get caught up in the whirlwind of life's happenings.  I dramatically imagine I am like Buttercup of The Princess Bride because she loved fearlessly, with complete faith in her true love.  I want to be like Xena the Warrior Princess because I have this complete fascination with swords and the idea of fighting fearlessly for what is right.  I see myself as Princess Leia who fought for the old republic which had been overrun by the evil empire.  I attack life with a vengeance.

And then I come back down to earth and realize that I am all, and none of them.  I look around and see projects unfinished, a sink full of dishes, and  a washroom full of dirty laundry.  I get discouraged because no matter how hard I try, these things keep coming back and I have to vanquish my foes once again.  I sit and let out a deep sigh, thinking that as long as my children are young, my house will never, ever, meet my standards.  So I get frustrated and wonder what in the world my dear beloved husband ever saw in me, how I could even think that my house would look like anything but that three tornadoes have invaded indoors, and that I'd even have the tenacity to try to confront my biggest enemies, let alone defeat them.

So if I'm this overwrought, why am I even taking the time to sit here and type away?

Because I do have the presence of mind to realize that I'm not the only person to have to deal with these issues, I can't be.  That would be so insanely narcissistic, not to mention self-centered with no idea what goes on outside these palace walls.  But there is this kingdom out there, and some of those citizens actually look at me, to see what I would do, what I do, and how.  And if I just stay inside my castle and never look around me, then I won't see their needs and their concerns.  Because if I examine my life in the light of everything else that comes into my view, then I realize just how good I have it.  I realize that I am blessed beyond compare.

And I have 4 precious little ones who think their mommy is the queen of the world, and in a sense, I am.  I am the queen of their world.