Winter's Nap

Many creatures in North America, and other continents alike I am sure, like to take long winter naps.  They eat their fill in the fall to get a nice, good layer of fat and insulation, find some cozy little den into which they can possibly just barely wriggle, and then hunker down for a blissfully sweet slumber through the coldest dark of winter.  These animals avoid the hardest frosts and the coldest snow by staying peacefully in their hidey holes, slumbering sweetly with whatever sentimental dreams come their way.  They wake up a few months later and quite a few pounds lighter, refreshed and ready to face the dawn of a new year, with all the excitement and rebirth of the wonder of the world in the spring about to surround them. 

I am happy to announce that Nathaniel has received a new start in the dead of winter.  He had quite a rough time this last semester and, in spite of the wonderful, patient help of his teachers, though the entire staff of his school worked lovingly with him, he was still not ready to make the transition to that kind of classroom.  I took note of the extra effort his educators and the administration, amazed at their resourcefulness throughout the year as they went above and beyond the call of duty to help him.  I am utterly grateful for all they did for him.  He was somewhat of a celebrity around there; he had his own flyer and everything which was passed out to the entire staff. 

My dear little Nathaniel sat in a chair, giving his sweetest smile for the camera, posed on the paper looking as if he had not a care in the world.  Beside the picture was his name with a message beside it. It was a warning that he runs.  If he ran passed any of the staff members, the paper listed a set of guidelines to follow to help lead him back to his home base of safety.  Since he does tend to run, great care was taken to keep him as safe as possible and out of the street, away from the woods, and out of the businesses nearby.  Throughout the year, it was hard to imagine that this fanciful little smiling boy was quite the challenge.  Both he and the staff learned quite a great deal.  In the end, however, we all had come to realize that he just needed something more than what they were able to offer.

One of the women in the system who has worked tirelessly with Nathaniel understands my struggles.  Her son was a lot like mine, and she has been a true pioneer in working to help high functioning Autistic children find their niche in the school system.  Without compromising their education and realizing their potential, she has helped bring about a program, a very new program, in fact just begun this year, in which they have their own classroom but can still be integrated in the classroom. The system is this:  a classroom for highly functioning Autistic children, highly intelligent, without academic difficulties, with behavior difficulties due to sensory and other processing issues.  There are 4 such classrooms in the North Fulton area.  She invited me to visit one such classroom, a mere 2 1/2 miles from my home, to see if we thought it would be a good fit for Nathaniel.

I was utterly amazed!  In the classroom itself was a small array of sensory related items:  a mini trampoline, a beanbag, some cushions, a set of silencer headphones, computers, and other stations.  Twice I noticed signs that boys were getting overloaded.  Both times, I watched as the boy went to a sensory outlet of choice for a minute or two and then went back of his own accord to do his work.  A minute or two!  That was all it took for them to calm themselves!  I think about the times when it would take 15 minutes just to get him to stop running or fighting to run and here I was watching these boys showing the same signs of putting hands to their ears and rocking, mumbling motions that I have seen my son do countless times, and yet they were able to self regulate inside the classroom. 

I was shell-shocked beyond belief, holding baited breath, eager to see what other wonders I would discover.  The sensory room was just as large as the classroom with many other devices to help them, a room into which they would go once or twice a week, alongside a speech therapy room which was connected and divided merely by a tough floor to ceiling pull partition that could be opened up if needed.  For the first time in a while, I began to have the hope that Nathaniel would be able to have a place he could go to where he would feel free to be himself and yet be able to learn how to control his emotions.

Of course, even after I saw the classroom and ecstatically agreed hopefully that this was indeed an environment in which I thought Nathaniel would thrive, I knew the decision was still up to the entire panel of the Support/IEP group.  Two days later we all participated in a three hour meeting that culminated in the agreement that my son should try this option.  The wonderful aspect was that he would be in the same classroom we visited, at that very school so close to my home.  It was also the home base of this wonderful woman and another Autism specialist who helped with more insight into my son's anxiety and fight or flight difficulties.  I knew then he would be in good hands.

Nathaniel started his new classroom at his new school, riding a new bus, after Christmas break.  It has been a week now and he has had no meltdowns.  He started to try to run twice, but saw something in his room that would help him feel better and went to it for a short time.  He has received smiley faces in all 6 areas every day for 7 days...except for the two I mentioned.  40/42, 7 days straight with no big tantrums, no fights, no spitting or kicking, no leaving his safety room.  That is better than his record has been since pre-k.

His struggles are much like my own in my quest to be the best mother and wife I can be.  I have tried, but often found myself falling short, disappointed at my failures.  I had to readjust, find a way to bring more helps into my realm of influence, in order to keep from treading water.  The tools I have found are sitting at the computer, writing and focusing on the positive; I have been putting on the headphones of singing and ignoring the negative voices.  I find myself bouncing to the trampoline of different ideas and options to take in dealing with my children and talking about the issues that really bother me.  I use the cushions of my faith to help soften my fall when I throw myself down in the beginnings of frustrations.  Most importantly, I am allowing myself to be squeezed in a beanbag of support from other parents with ASD children and finding out that I can also be a beanbag for them.

As a family, we were not able to hibernate through the long winter that has lasted for two years.  We have had to weather the wind, taste the cold of the snow, and receive the brain freeze that comes with taking in too much ice at a time.  But, like those woodland creatures, we are beginning to stir to a new sight, listening to the rebirth of hope and watching the joy and wonder return to our Nathaniel's face as he explores the spring of a new era and looks expectantly at the adventure of the awakening path opening up before him.