Growing Stronger Hand in Hand

She did it!  My baby girl walked today.  She took four steps while holding a bottle in her mouth and knowingly took those steps.  Such a bittersweet moment it was, knowing that the one who is probably my last baby is letting go of her uncertainty and realizing the strength she has within her.

It didn't happen overnight.  It took a whole year and a month to get her to this point.  It took her this long to get her muscles to work just so.  It took a year of growing bones gaining strength to support her weight.  It took a month of testing her abilities until she was ready to start moving on her own two feet.  Just thinking of the memories over this past year brings tears to my eyes.  My baby girl is moving on to her next phase.  She is transforming into a toddler.

I think of all the times she's wanted to get up and walk and demanded my attention as she reached, not to be carried, but to put my hands in hers so she could be helped across the family room carpet, into the wood hall, and on to the laminated kitchen floor.  Countless times she grasped my fingers with her entire hand as we toddled together back and forth, around and around.  Sometimes she merely wanted to stand and practice pivoting from one direction to the other, just moving one foot around and around in circles.  Other moments came when she just wanted to hold my fingers as she twisted in joyful dance, keeping her feet in place.  But every time, she clenched tightly onto the safety of her mother's hands.

Slowly I've loosened my grip on her, only to find her holding that much tighter.  Gradually, I would work a hand free only to have her loudly say, "Um" in protest and lurch for my hand once again.  I would take turns alternating which hand to free as she wasn't quite ready to go off on her own.  Then, as she flailed in uncertainty, I placed my hand once again in hers, to reassure her that I am there.

Yes, she has fallen back on her seat cushion a few times, but to no real injury.  And she has gotten directly up to try once again.  She's using different muscles to walk than to crawl, and she's learning how to make them work to her advantage.  She's been a work in progress.

She still is.  She has learned the basics of picking up one foot at a time and putting it down again, a little further forward than it was, and thus practicing, for she is no expert by any means.  But she is definitely on her way.  It is a journey she is learning to take, one step at a time, and as she takes each step, she is getting progressively stronger and more sure of herself.  For it is only in the doing that these actions can be perfected.

Isn't life interesting?  It is a process in which we learn how to function in this world.  First, hopefully, it teaches us to be dependent on those loving hands of others to support us in new and difficult situations.  It should teach us to find strength in the hands of one who can guide us and help us on our journey until, moments come when we are tested to see if we can stand and walk on our own.  It doesn't allow us to run before we can walk, but lets us take each day as it comes, a new experience that gives us an opportunity to grow, to be strengthened for the next level.

As infants, we are dependent on our parents, or our caregivers.  As we start to stand on our own, we take the hands of friends, leaning on their support to strengthen us.  Somewhere in time, we learn that we need to help them to walk when they are weak.  Then, as we grow older, we continue to long for someone to be there, ready to catch us when we fall, because even the ones that seem the most secure have that innate knowledge that, at some time in our lives, in some unexpected moment, we may slip and lose our way.  And we know we need those loving hands to be there in case we need help to get back up; because, even though I may be strong enough to get back up on my own, it certainly is comforting to know I can reach out and that someone will extend that helping hand and grab hold of mine, help me to rise once again.