Time to Get Rid of the Box

I sit at the keyboard wanting to write something, anything, that might be of some value.  But all that comes to mind is mindless rambling, or so it seems to me.  I think about the past week and think, "Has it really been that long since I last blogged?"  What have I been missing?  Has life been so uninteresting that I have nothing to say?

Well, with my family, life is always interesting.  They all keep me on my toes on a non-stop pace.  I feel like I am surrounded by Energizer bunnies that have no off switch.  They are boundless balls of energy that, I am sure, would be able to light up the entire state of Georgia, if it were possible to hook them up to some sort of electrical current conversion gizmo.  Even more interesting to me at this very moment is that the word gizmo is still not recognized by the computer speller...I keep getting a red line under gizmo.  Gizmo, gizmo, gizmo.

That is life sometimes.  It's all sorts of gizmos that we know exist, that are out there, but for some reason, do not translate into the "acceptable" form of everyday living.  We are expected to fit into a nice, neat little mold, and when we don't, we get this big red line under us telling us that something isn't right.  We mustn't  consider the outlandish, too simplistic idea that some things, and some people, just don't fit inside the box.  I think it's because we think that if we box it all neatly together, it will just fit, somehow, and we don't know how to adjust to something different.

My daughter, Nyssa, was in kindergarten last year.  She was so excited to go learn and be around a group of children her age.  She was thrilled in May 2009 to get her testing done.  You see, we decided to do it then rather than in the coming August just before school began because I was due to have a baby at that time.  When she came out of the testing area, the teacher was shocked.  It hadn't taken Nyssa nearly as long as we thought it would.  That can either be a good thing or a bad thing.

It was good.  She could already read all the sight words they were expected to read at the end of kindergarten.  In fact, I already knew she could read all the required words through the middle of second grade.  But she did everything so exuberantly and quickly that she finished in half the expected time.  She was so excited to start school.

But then August came.  Within two weeks the teacher asked for a parent teacher conference.  When we met, she commented on how bright my daughter was, but that she just didn't seem to fit in well.  She was immature.  Of course, her birthday was in June, and she was the youngest in her class.  The fact that she barely weighed 30 pounds was a definite sign that she was also the smallest.  She had no attention, couldn't do her math, and was ever so slow when it came to writing.  Her teacher's recommendation was already to consider holding her back at the end of the year so she'd have time to grow into school.

Hold on, I thought, "But you said she has already proven that she has learned all the things she needs by the end of kindergarten...and you want her to do it again...and again?"  After some much needed discussion, she agreed to have a Student Support Team work with her and asked permission to have Nyssa tested, to which I immediately agreed.

Time passed, the testing was done in November, and we met in January to discuss the findings.  Everyone involved was there: psychologists, physical therapist, speech therapist, educational adviser, special needs program leader, you name it.  Oh, and her teacher and myself were there.  As we sat down and all the papers with the test results were passed out, the teacher commented that she had not had a chance to see the results herself, and she was in the same boat I was.

Speech therapist:  according to the testing, she had superior rating on vocabulary, understanding of vocabulary, and receptive language.  Translation:  she had superior use of words and understanding of them and knew how to communicate more effectively than 90% of children her age.  No problem there, check.

Aside from some minor typical issues, Nyssa did fine on her testing, well within the limits of her age group.  The psychologist listed definite attention span difficulties, possible autistic tendencies, but noting that Nyssa had an autistic brother, he said she may just be mimicking some of Nathaniel's attributes.  She showed some social awkwardness and some immaturity issues, but borderline, so advised testing by a professional outside of school.  The special needs teacher said she didn't have any and so didn't require services.  She advised to just let Nyssa grow into her own, that she'd be fine.


The educational adviser opened with comments on testing.  That began with math and fluid reasoning.  At this point, before seeing the page, the teacher commented how this was Nyssa's weak point.   She didn't know how to do her math.  She was too slow and couldn't get it.  Everyone looked at the page and looked at her, for we had already seen the result that she had not yet discovered.  The educational adviser continued, somewhat awkwardly, to state that Nyssa not only had superior fluid reasoning, but that she scored in the 98th percentile!  That means, for all of us that have never before known what that represents, is that she has the ability to figure new things out on her own, without any prior instruction on a subject.  It's the ability to analyze new problems, identify patterns, problem solve using both inductive and deductive reasoning.  It's abstract reasoning combined with puzzle solving..and only up to 2% of the entire population tested could do better than she.

Didn't I write about her being able to figure out chain locks and childproof locks before she was 30 months?  Yeah.  I thought so.

Back to her much surprised, gaping mouthed teacher.  Nyssa had never shown her this side of her abilities, it seems.  At any rate, we learned that math and language were by no means her weak points.  So evidently, she didn't need any special ed help.  I want it noted here that I greatly appreciate all the work special ed teachers do.  They have helped many children who need it, including my son, who has come a long way thanks to their patience with him.

All in all, it appeared Nyssa's only real problems lay in her immaturity and her attention.  Though she continued to progress through the year, she continued to have trouble when it came to keeping focused.  Her teacher was at a loss when it came to my daughter.  She saw the potential in her but didn't know how to bring it out.  It wasn't her fault, Nyssa just didn't fit the mold in which children are supposed to be formed.

Jump forward to this past Monday when I sat in the psychologist's office where we had gone to have the additional testing done for Nyssa.  I listened carefully to the results that showed borderline ADD and how it affected Nyssa.  I was half expecting that.  What I was not expecting were the rest of the results she showed me.  You see, part of the testing was for her IQ.  It was ADD and her IQ...and therein lies the rub.

Her IQ  was a high superior at 131 and, as I was told, may have been higher but that she may have been adversely affected by the fact that she couldn't stay focused on her test.  Nyssa took the Wechsler Preschool and Primary Scale of Intelligence test.  She scored in the 99th percentile for her perceptual reasoning.  That speaks for itself.  The psychologist said you almost never see that high of a score and she had never seen it herself in her own years of practice.  Everything Nyssa sees she absorbs.  But because she sees everything so minutely, she is distracted by the slightest movement.  The psychologist said you almost never see that high of a score and she had never seen it herself in 20 years of practice in one of her own patients.

Her verbal reasoning was lower as there were portions where she just had to listen and answer.  She doesn't process auditory things as well because she gets distracted by what she sees.  Still it was above average, as was her working memory, another weak point.  In her weakest point, she still scored above average.  The psychologist noted that both her IQ and attention deficit problems are probably higher than indicated on the test because she compensates.  She's a smart girl; she adapts.  All in all, Nyssa doesn't fit into the box of the typical school child her age.

A part of me wanted to think, here we go again.  Another child that doesn't fit the mold, and, I confess, I was a little disheartened by it.  Then it hit me that quite a few people haven't fit the mold.  Hey, I never fit the typical mold.  In fact, my teachers always said I had an "interesting" and "unique" way of looking at things.  I don't pretend to compare myself to the likes of  Albert Einstein and Thomas Edison, but they didn't fit in the tidy little box, either.  Einstein didn't like to add 2+2 because it was too simple.  Edison failed school...only went for 3 months because his mind constantly wandered.  He was self-taught by his environment and by what he read.

Where would the world be without these two box jumpers?  When something doesn't make sense, we try to cram it where it doesn't fit, but it doesn't work.  You can't fit an elephant into a refrigerator box.  It's simply too big and only the foot would fit anyway.  So then why are we so baffled when the box is demolished when we try to force it to fit?  

Some things are just too great for comprehension.  Some things will never fit, nor should they.  When we open our eyes and realize that they truly are larger than life, larger than we can even imagine, then hope springs eternal.  We can stop struggling to make it work, because then we realize that a greater destiny awaits us. 

So here's my question for all of us.  Is there a spark that is burning deep inside, no matter how small, that keeps coming to the surface every now and then?  I'm sure there is.  Whether it's someone sitting at a blank keyboard with a blank mind or someone connecting a key to a kite string, we all have our quirks that others don't understand, and that if truth be told, we don't understand ourselves.  I am determined to think that there is a greatness that lies dormant inside everyone of us, and if we have the right environment, it can grow.  It was Einstein that said, "Success is 10% inspiration, 90% perspiration."  We all have the ability to tap into it.... go ahead.  Hook up and fan into flame that spark...you never know what may show up!