Running Away

I will never cease to be amazed at how we tend to want to be somewhere else.  We seem to strive for something else, to be somewhere else, to do something else.  Else, else, else, something other than this.  We are not often happy with where we are.  We have lost the meaning and the understanding of contentment.

Yesterday morning, Nathaniel did not want to go to school.  He wanted to stay home, curled up in bed, sleeping.  I can't say as I blame him, because as soon as he left, I crawled right back into bed until the younger ones woke up.  Nevertheless, he got dressed, put on his coat and donned his backpack, for his trip out to the school bus for his final destination.

When he came home, he fought every step of the way.  He refused to get on the bus to come home.  When the bus driver delivered Nathaniel, he resisted coming in the house.  He wanted to go back to school.  He didn't want to see his teacher or his friends, but he wanted to go back to school.

I brought him in the house where his brother and sister were, though that was a struggle.  No sooner had I closed the door and picked up Gabriela who was determined to follow me to the curb, when I heard the door open once again. Nathaniel had darted off.  I tried to leave Benjamin and Gabriela in the house, but they were fussy and Benjamin was following me outside, in the cold rain, with no coat and no shoes.

So I had to make a quick choice.  Nathaniel did not come when I called, so I had to get Benjamin's coat and rain boots on him, as well as put on my own coat.  I bundled Gabriela up with me as we went in search of my runaway.  Even though Nathaniel had made it over halfway across the block, I knew I had made the correct decision.

When I finally reached him, Benjamin and Gabriela in tow, Nathaniel was so downcast it brought an ache to my heart.  His blue eyes were red, tears streaming down his face.  "Mommy, I wanted to go back to school.  But I couldn't remember the way."

I gave him a hug as he pulled at my heart strings, took him by the hand, and started walking back towards the house.  "I know, honey.  School is a long way from here, and I want you to be safe with me."  He did not understand why he couldn't go back, nor did he understand the repercussions of running off the way he did.  But we walked together back to the bus stop to get his sister.

Just like Nathaniel earlier, we all find ourselves wanting to be somewhere else.  He wanted to stay in his comfortable bed rather than get up and explore life.  Then, after a good day in class, he was not ready to move on.  Instead of recognizing the end of a period in his life, he wanted to prolong it, to go back to where the fun experience was.  But the time had passed.  The bus had gone, and he had no way of getting back.

When he tried to relive it, he was caught in the cold rain, a storm of life that he would not have had to experience if he had stayed where he belonged.  He was not content to come to the warmth of the house, to the company of his family.   Fortunately, even as Nathaniel was running away, I was there, getting bundled up to go after him.  Even before he was ready to come home, I was waiting for him to take my hand.

Sometimes we try to relive the glory days, or to prolong a moment in time that has passed.  There comes a time when we need to move on, to keep going.  If we try to go back to something that we should leave alone for the time being, we may find ourselves in the midst of cold, wet weather, all alone.  And when we realize that we are lost, unsure of where to go, that is when another can reach out his hand, let us know we are not alone, we have been found, and we are led safely home.