Something More Than Feelings

I am so glad that life isn't about how you feel, but about what you do with those feelings.  Things don't always go according to plan.  Circumstances arise that are beyond your control and may make you feel like you're tied to a pole with no way out.  Situations come that may take you on a mountaintop experience or down into the toughest white squall known to man.  But what do you do when you feel your ship is about to capsize with you in it?

Some days I am overwhelmed by everything.  Thoughts invade my mind that tell me I can't accomplish anything, that I'm useless as a wife and a mother.  They threaten to paralyze me completely, and there are moments when they succeed and try to drain the life out of me.

They would succeed if it weren't for one thing:  they are total and utter lies!  Every single one of them, and when I realize it, I get angry.  I get angry at those thoughts that would lead me astray and make me become just what they accuse me of being.  I get mad at those who would tell me that I can't do this, that I can't get my house in order, that I can't get my children the care they need.  I get angry with the negativity that would threaten to harm my family through getting me to believe those lies.

I may not always feel like Wonder Woman, and my house may not look like Donna Reed's, but there is one thing that it has:  love.  Let me say that again:  L-O-V-E.  Love.  My children know I love them and that they are important to me.  My husband knows that he comes before them.  My friends know that I care about people above all else.

There's something else in the middle of all this, too.  People who know me know that I love the TRUTH.  And the truth of the matter is this:  I have many faults, and housekeeping has been one of them, and will probably be a thorn in my side for a bit longer, but I have been getting better.  I've been able to keep the hallways and the bathrooms clean.  I've been able to straighten the kids' rooms up at least twice a week.  The family room floor is clean, the dining room is clean, and even my bedroom looks better this week than it has in two years.

Even when I was mentally attacked by those useless thoughts on Saturday, the truth was still there, and would not be silent.  That's one thing about the truth.  It will always rear its beautiful head and, if we allow it, will save us from those thoughts, from naysayers, and even from ourselves.  When my world was rocked, I was also confronted with the truth by my dear husband who kept knocking at the door of my mind until I let the light shine through.

Sometimes we have to push through the frustration, the anger, the lies that we have believed about ourselves, and let the truth be revealed.  There's the saying..."You shall know the truth, and the truth will set you free."  I believe that, and I know that regardless of how I feel, the truth is still there, steadfast, immovable, a fortress that cannot be shaken.  It is my rock when fiery darts would wound my soul.  It is the healing balm of Gilead that is placed on my scars and takes away all traces of injury.  It is not a feeling, no.  It is a fact, indisputable, and this is that truth:

You are somebody.  You are special.  In spite of all your flaws, in spite of what you or anyone else believes about you, you are special.  You are priceless.  You are a diamond in the rough.  You mean something important to this world.  Ignore all that would tell you otherwise; ignore the thoughts and the feelings, because there is something greater than even what your mind would say to you.  This is not a feeling, this is something more:  this is the God's honest truth.  You are a masterpiece.  You are worth far more than rubies or gold.  You are cherished.  You are loved.