Biting at the Lip

Isn't it interesting how when something seems off it is hard to just let go?  Sometimes life brings things that are so out of the ordinary that we don't know how to deal with it so we come at it from all sides.  It's alright to notice when things don't feel quite right, but we must learn how to handle those situations.  If we're not careful, we can make a mountain out of a molehill or bite off more than we can chew. 

This morning, I took the boys to the dentist for their appointments.  Neither one of them make it easy to brush their teeth, so they both have suffered the consequences of their misbehavior.  They have cavities, and they both had a couple filled in today.

The last time I took Nathaniel to the dentist, they had to put him in a papoose, so I was quite unsure how he would respond.  We had thought he would have to be sedated, but the doctor wanted to try again, once Nathaniel got a little older.  Fortunately, he did very well today with his so called elephant nose, the hose with the nitrous oxide, aka laughing gas, and was contentedly watching Pixar's Cars during the procedure.

Both boys were super while at the office; I couldn't have been prouder of their behavior.  When we were sent home, however, I was given instructions on how to care for their mouths for the next couple of hours.  I was n not to let them eat or drink anything for two hours, after which I could give them some ice cream or a milk shake to help keep the discomfort at bay.  Most importantly, however, I was to keep a close eye on them.  Since a portion of each of their mouths was numb, they could not feel if they bit their tongues, cheeks, or lips.

Nathaniel is a very orally fixated child to begin with.  Combine that with a tactile nature and a numb lip, tongue, and cheek, and you have trouble.  He had a cotton tube in his mouth, which he lightly bit down on, to keep him from accidentally biting himself.  Of course, as soon as everyone buckled up in the minivan and we were on our way home, he promptly took the cotton out of his mouth and started playing with his bottom lip.

The lip seemed to be the point of greatest interest to him.  He tugged at it with his fingers, stuck it out as far as he could go; he licked at it and opened and closed his mouth incessantly.  He kept putting it inside his mouth.  The entire trip was filled with me saying things like, "get your lip out of your mouth," "don't bite yourself," and "stop that!"  Finally, exasperated, he said, "Mommy, stop telling me what to do," to which I replied, "I'll make a deal with you.  You stop biting your lip and keep it out of your mouth and I'll stop nagging with you."

He continued.  I nagged.  When we got home, he told me his lip was really big.  I looked.  Not only was the bottom left lip swollen to over twice its original size, but his mouth looked like he had smeared it with pink lipstick.  I wiped off his mouth and took a look.  Sure enough, Nathaniel had been chewing on his lip and cut it in quite a few places.  Thank goodness, there was no damage to his tongue or the inside of his cheek, only to his lip.  I put the cotton back in his mouth and told him that if he kept it there and didn't bite himself, I'd give him his choice of ice cream or a milk shake.

An hour later he had his vanilla milk shake.  He went to bed tonight with a huge lip, but it had not grown since this morning.  He seemed to have no more discomfort, merely the strangeness that comes with something not quite feeling right.  According to the dentist, his lip should go back down to regular size within a few days, as the mouth heals faster than any other body part.

Yes, Benjamin had his appointment too, though his cavities were on top, so his upper left lip was numb.  He followed the instructions and kept the cotton in his mouth.  It didn't seem to bother him after a while.  He talked strange for a couple of hours and had a droop in his lip for most of the afternoon, but by bedtime, his mouth was back to normal.  He was not as fixated on the strange sensation, so he did not poke and prod like his brother.

Sometimes I can be just like Benjamin.  Situations can arise and I just go with the flow.  I don't let them bother me; I roll with the waves through the storm and don't worry about them.  Sure, while the water pounds, I may have some alteration while I'm healing, but when the seas are peaceful once again, there is no evidence of harm because I choose to not let it affect me.

Then there are the other times when I act like Nathaniel.  Life throws me a curve ball that I don't quite get.  I know I'm supposed to just sit it out, but I can't help fighting the oceans of emotions that pound me.  So I pound back, not realizing that my reaction is only hurting me more than the storm ever could.  Then when the tempest dies down, I end up battered and bruised because I responded out of curiosity, fear, or anger instead of listening to the better angels of my nature that tell me to just let it be.

Next time I'd like to be able to just roll with the punches.  I'd like to be able to sleep peacefully in the middle of the storm.  Hopefully next time I will just look at the insanity around me and just say, "Peace! Be still!"  Because my children are observing me.  They are looking to me to see how they should respond.  I'd like to teach them to be able to, if not calm the storms of life around them, at least to still the raging sea that sometimes threatens to rage inside.