The Waiting Game

Patience is a virtue.  Patience is a good virtue that is handy to have in your arsenal.  Patience is a necessity when you have children and can be most rewarding when you let patience have its way in trying times.  Patience is something I used to think I possessed in great quantity but have realized in recent years that I lack often.  I'm working on it.

Last Tuesday, exactly one week ago, I had the privilege of discovering how much patience I had on that given day.  It should have been simple:  wake the children, take the boys to school, take Nyssa to the doctor, come home, clean, get the boys from school, play with the kids, make dinner, clean up, go to bed.  Of course, if it had turned out as outlined above, it would not have made an interesting story, and therefore I would not have written about it except to say how refreshing it would have been to have a "normal" day.  It was not the easiest of days as within minutes of my waking, the trials began.

It was Nathaniel's second day to ride the car to school, and he remembered that he had been banned from the regular school bus.  This was not particular pleasant information for him to recall, so he got frustrated.  After a small meltdown, he changed tactics and tried to beg his way on the bus.  Once he realized the bus had already passed by our street, he was fit to be tied for the next 30 minutes. 

Since it was obvious Nathaniel was having trouble, my husband and I decided it was best to drop Benjamin off to school first and then take Nathaniel.  The only problem was that by time we got Nathaniel belted into his seat, it was already after 9 am and Nyssa had a doctor's appointment at 9:30.   After dropping off Benjamin, Nathaniel was still borderline but had not eaten breakfast yet.  I figured the best thing to do was to pick up some food for Nyssa, Nathaniel, and Gabriela, and take him with us to the appointment.


After the urologist examined Nyssa and took a couple ultrasounds of her bladder, kidneys, and bowels, she declared Nyssa had a healthy, though rather stopped up system.  She gave us some medication to help move it along as well as some instructions on how to help Nyssa stay dry and train her brain to work with her muscles.  Around 11:30, she sent us on our way, along with a specimen for the local Children's Healthcare of Atlanta satellite facility. 

Since we had to get the urine sample to the lab within a limited amount of time, we had to go straight to the center.  Due to this, I recognized the fact that Nathaniel would not be attending school that day.  He continued to have some difficulty, but for the most part was more relaxed than I had seen him since before the weekend.  We were told it would be about a 30 minute wait, not quite long enough for me to grab some lunch for the kids, before lab work time. 

The lab technician in charge of drawing Nyssa's blood had some difficulty with the orders, as they did not seem to make sense.  Fortunately, I was prepared for this possibility.  The doctor had already told me that they would probably call her to ask why she was ordering some of the tests, so I was not to be alarmed if they were uncertain.  Unfortunately, that turned the 30 minute wait into an hour and a half. 

The children were losing their patience.  They couldn't run or jump.  They couldn't make any loud noises.  They were all used to eating before noon.   They had long since eaten the snacks I had brought.  Gabriela was rubbing her eyes something fierce and begging to be held while complaining of hunger.   The others were restless, whiny and hungry as well.  The intake nurse had compassion and pulled out some goldfish and apple juice while we waited.  That seemed to help their dispositions.

When they finally called her name, Nyssa was ready to get her blood drawn and get out of there.  She was an absolute trooper!  Of course, it really helped that the nurse put some numbing solution at the puncture site and a vibrating bee machine above the site for fun effect.  She was done with nary a fuss within 10 minutes!

The rest of the crew did well, also.  Gabriela sat in my lap while I read a book.  Nathaniel, though it was rough on him also, did very well.  He hates when any of his siblings get a shot or stuck with a needle because he literally feels the pain with them.  For this reason, he sat in a corner facing the wall, eyes shut tight and hands over his ears until I touched him on the shoulder. 

We were done!  It was 2:00 and I had 30 minutes to grab them something to eat and pick up Benjamin from Kids R Kids.  We drove through McDonald's and picked up some grub, got Benjamin, and headed home.  Once there, I allowed the kids to run free for a while while I decompressed.

It's amazing how taxing just waiting can be at times.  We waited to see the doctor.  We waited for the results.  We waited and waited and waited for the lab work.  We weren't allowed to really do anything during that time except watch the cartoons, study the fish, talk, or read a book.  And we had to do it all on our best behavior, with no excessive movement.

When life does that to me, I have to fight the compulsion to get up and move.   I like the action, doing something engaging, feeling productive.  Sometimes I'm not allowed to do that and I have to just wait.  It's not always comfortable for me to do, but sometimes it is not only the best thing, but the one thing that I can do. 

Nathaniel has taught me that.  When he has a meltdown, I can comfort him, soothe him, talk to him, and give him positive affirmation until I'm blue in the face, but sometimes the best thing to do is to just wait patiently until he gives a sign that he is ready to deal with the world around him again.

I don't always necessarily gain any great physical accomplishment from being patient.  More than once I have discovered that if not for a delayed appointment I would have ended up on a pile up on the highway.  Sometimes I get nothing but  just know that I had to wait.  But I do learn from time to time how far I have come and how far I have yet to go.  It's also interesting for me to note that just when it seems I can last no longer, something happens to give me the opportunity for respite.  I am given a chance for a slight refreshing, such as when the nurse brought me some snacks for the kids when they started going bonkers.  It was just the amount of lift I needed to be able to hold on, to wait.